From The Pits Of The Slush Pile – A Poem

Found in the July/August 09 issue of the SCBWI newsletter… I hope you find this (scarily accurate) poem as hilarious as I did!  After two months of reading hideous/inappropriate book dummies and unsolicited cover letters about as bad as this one, there is nothing I could say that describes my job better than this.  

Cheers to the slush pile – and the interns who reject them. 


From The Pits of The Slush Pile – By William Peery

You were randomly chosen to get the first look

at my marvelous, moral-filled, new picture-book

Samantha the Snail’s Uncontrollable Slime – 

it’s ninety-one pages of near-perfect rhyme. 


Come ride with a snail on a slippery cruise

as she learns it’s okay to excessively ooze. 

With hundreds of snail facts I’ve made learning fun,

and the drawings were done by my five-year-old son.


My hairstylist said it’s incredibly clever;

my daughter declared it the best story ever.

And what makes it brilliant and truly sublime

is I’ve coated the pages with genuine slime

(I ran out of snails, so I used a few worms.)

I’ll phone you on Friday to tell you my terms.


Your newest author, 

Auntie McMeter

P.S. I’m just about finished with book number two:

Dakota the Dog’s Uncontrollable Poo.


One response to “From The Pits Of The Slush Pile – A Poem

  1. Tee hee hee. Ohhhhhhh slush pile, how you endlessly amuse me.

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