Found in the July/August 09 issue of the SCBWI newsletter… I hope you find this (scarily accurate) poem as hilarious as I did! After two months of reading hideous/inappropriate book dummies and unsolicited cover letters about as bad as this one, there is nothing I could say that describes my job better than this.
Cheers to the slush pile – and the interns who reject them.
From The Pits of The Slush Pile – By William Peery
You were randomly chosen to get the first look
at my marvelous, moral-filled, new picture-book
Samantha the Snail’s Uncontrollable Slime –
it’s ninety-one pages of near-perfect rhyme.
Come ride with a snail on a slippery cruise
as she learns it’s okay to excessively ooze.
With hundreds of snail facts I’ve made learning fun,
and the drawings were done by my five-year-old son.
My hairstylist said it’s incredibly clever;
my daughter declared it the best story ever.
And what makes it brilliant and truly sublime
is I’ve coated the pages with genuine slime
(I ran out of snails, so I used a few worms.)
I’ll phone you on Friday to tell you my terms.
Your newest author,
P.S. I’m just about finished with book number two:
Dakota the Dog’s Uncontrollable Poo.